October 11 is National Coming Out Day: What Does That Even Mean?

National Coming Out Day is Wednesday, October 11, 2017

What does National Coming Out Day mean?

Queer Chocolatier is #outandopenforbusiness and my wife and I are out as queer ciswomen (I am bisexual and Cheri identifies as a lesbian). But we both had extremely different experiences in coming out. And everyone's experience is extremely unique to them as identities are complex and context is important. Coming out as queer is not the same as coming out as trans* is not the same as coming out gender non-conforming is not the same as a POC coming out as any one of those identities or orientations. In many cases, it is a privilege to come out that many cannot afford due to being multiply marginalized.

This is all to say the following if you identify as LGBTQIA2+:

• You don't owe anyone any explanation. Your life and lived experiences are your own and yours to control.
• You should keep your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health at the forefront of any decision regarding the hows, whys, whos, whens, and wheres of coming out. If you don't feel safe, do not succumb to any sort of pressure to come out to the people or in the environments that you do not feel safe.
• You are not less than anyone if you do not come out in a public sort of way.
• You are not better than others if you do come out.
• You do not have to come out to everyone in your life all at once in order to have "officially come out."
• You may feel like you need approval by those to whom you come out, but your truth does not change in a manner that is contingent upon their approval (you are who you are regardless).
• And if you never "officially come out," it doesn't make you any less queer. (Here is a wonderful article that will elaborate on that further.)

However, I do want to acknowledge the importance of visibility. With visibility, there is a space or a community that provides safety. There are role models from which others may learn. There are opportunities to rally around folx with similar experiences. I am in my mid (or late...) thirties and I learn from people who are out and who are older and younger than me every day.

Community inspires me like little else can.

We chose to make our business visible as a way to carve out space. If you want to share your story, visit with people who may have some shared perspectives and experiences, or if you just want a quiet place and moment to let the weight of the world come off your shoulders for a spell, please know that Cheri and I are here for you. 

We see you.

We care about you.

Tomorrow, please feel free to come over to our shop. Come out for yourself or come out for chocolate. Just know that we're happy to see you and be seen by you.

Small Business Shenanigans: A Month of Chocolate-y Blur!

One Month Down!

Being a small business owner requires an extraordinary amount of reflection, at least from my perspective. So, here's a brief check-in and rundown of what's happened and what I've learned so far since launching Queer Chocolatier!

1. I believe in myself more than I ever imagined!

I am tremendously confident in selling my chocolates, talking about the quality of the ingredients, discussing my production of the truffles, and opening up to folx of all sorts who come to have conversations with me about Queer Chocolatier. Believing in myself doesn't lead to arrogance; I stay in my lane, learn from people every day, and connect in meaningful ways that genuinely impact me. 

2. Learning from people about what they want is the best source for ideas!

People know what they want. I don't have to come up with every idea from a blank slate. Occasionally, my ideas do resonate with others and that's wonderful! But, more often than not, I take the ideas and suggestions of others and run with it, newly inspired! Some of these ideas include:

• Single Truffle Boxes
• Truffle Assortment Packs
• Newsletter Suggestions
• Grand Opening Theme and Truffle Flavors

Speaking of which...

3. I am opening a retail space for Queer Chocolatier!!

Whoa! I know! It's a big step! But this is such an exciting step. Sometimes it makes me picture how a kitten on a wooden floor will have its rear legs outrun its front legs. I am that kitten. I am a frenzy of motion.

I'll sleep when I'm sleepy. 

That's how the saying goes, right?

Anyway, there will be a Grand Opening event on Thursday, October 5th at our new space, 405 S. Walnut St. #204 in Muncie! You should totally be there! My wife and I are big fans of the Netflix series Stranger Things and I'll have Maple Eggo Waffle Truffles to sell for this one night only! For how much do you ask? Eleven dollars for a box of 4. Eleven.

4. I was profiled in a Ball State Daily News series featuring local businesses!

Some of my experiences I've had in the last month of being open for business are things that I expected would happen if I put some muscle and effort into it. Other things, though, have come so easy and smoothly that it really does feel like luck. My wife and I were recently interviewed for the Ball State Daily News Muncie Origins series and I am thrilled with the article! I appreciate that it was evident what my goals for the business are because the interviewer, Kirsten, did a lovely job of highlighting the overall values of Queer Chocolatier. We are as much about community as we are about chocolate. We are unapologetic. We are passionate about what we create. And we love Muncie! 

5. I created an Etsy storefront to feature Homo Decor and my truffles!

If people are shopping for holiday gifts and they haven't already heard of Queer Chocolatier, they are probably not going to make it to my site. But, if they are shopping on Etsy for their loved ones, then they may make it across my storefront and be able to purchase my truffles as well as my Homo Decor offerings!

What's Homo Decor?

A peek in the studio!

Homo Decor will consist of art pieces to warm the spaces of those who are not as frequently represented in off-the-shelf home decor items. Everyone and all consentual relationships should be celebrated!

Etsy will serve as another marketplace for my truffles and art pieces can reach more folx who are making purchases for themselves and those they love unapologetically! Homo Decor pieces will be up within a week for both my storefront on Queer Chocolatier and Etsy.

6. I really need to up my game to be ready for my second month and beyond!

Everything that has transpired so far has been wonderful. I've worked hard, I've been supported, I've had a stroke or three of luck. But I am ready to reach the next level of business and community. 

I'm one month down, but I'm just getting started!

#HeyMuncie!: Queer Chocolatier Goes to Market!

#OutAndOpenForBusiness

Queer Chocolatier centers on the the tangible product of quality chocolate truffles but it also rests on the foundation of an identity that claims space. In some ways, this is nerve-wracking. But it also is refreshing and rewarding!

I am a queer, married ciswoman and I'm going to make you delicious chocolates.

And I am equally proud of my cocoa alchemy as I am of my queer identity.

However, I am acutely aware that not everyone will share my pride. We live and move in an increasingly balkanized society that pushes people to choose sides. By and large I support choosing sides. Furthermore, I believe in the idea of claiming your space first; if I am anchored and grounded in where I stand, others can use me as a landmark and decide whether to stand alongside me or not.

This past weekend of vending at two local farmers' markets was my first time staking my claim in a physical space, outside of the internet, and putting myself out there as the Queer Chocolatier.

And Muncie warmly welcomed me! 

The indomitable Moth Danner runs the Muncie Makers Market and was beyond welcoming me to her roster of vendors!

It was just one weekend, but I have the sense that Queer Chocolatier taking space meant something to folx. In some cases, people simply wanted good chocolate and I'm not mad! I love talking to people about my chocolate, how I make it, where I buy my source chocolate, how I've come up with some flavors (including flavors inspired by my wife).

This is the price she pays for being my inspiration.

In other cases, folx came to my booth to talk about identity and business and community. Some came under my canopy to say "Thank you!" or "This is such a cool concept!" 

That matters. 

It matters because queer lives matter. Trans* lives matter. Solidarity matters.

Know that if you are queer, trans*, gender non-conforming, genderqueer or genderfluid, of if you fall anywhere in the spectrum of marginalized sexual and/or gender identity, I stand in solidarity with you. If you're in East Central Indiana, come visit me at Minnetrista's Farmers' Market or at the Muncie Makers' Market and indulge in truffles!

And be unapologetic about taking up the space that you do! 

Cocoa 101: What are Truffles? Q&A

Cocoa 101: What are Truffles? Q&A

Expanded from Vol. 1, Issue 1 of the Cocoa Communique: The Queer Chocolatier Newsletter.

Question: What are "Truffles"?

Answer: Truffles are chocolate confections that, at their most basic, are made with chocolate, cream and butter, and are finished by either rolling in cocoa powder or dipping in tempered chocolate. Using these ingredients as a canvas, rainbows of flavors are also incorporated to make each truffle a unique experience.

Question: Okay, sounds great, but why "truffles"?

Answer: Folx back in the day thought these confections looked a great deal similar to the highly-prized black truffle mushrooms due to the dusting of cocoa powder that resembled dirt. The name has stuck ever since.

View fullsize

I personally think they look nothing like mushrooms. Mostly because I love chocolate and hate, hate, HATE mushrooms.

I'm sure it's mutual.

Question: Wait, so truffles look like mushrooms, but do they have mushrooms in them?

Answer: **shudder** I sincerely hope not. But we live in the Age of The Internet and there are dark corners of the world that would make such things manifest.

Truly though, the name really just reflects on the general appearance and their highly-desirable nature.

He's not wrong.

Question: Are truffles supposed to be perfectly round? Do perfectly round truffles mean that they are better quality?

Answer: Not necessarily. Going from the original inspiration from the name, there are few perfectly round black truffle mushrooms that naturally grow, so it stands to reason that a slightly asymmetrical appearance is completely acceptable, and sometimes is even more desired than a perfect sphere as to demonstrate the handmade aesthetic.

Quality, in and of itself, is not going to be determined by a sole factor of shape symmetry. Instead, quality will be a confluence of many factors such as: sourced chocolate, freshness of dairy (or non-dairy) items, and ratio of flavoring elements among others including shape.

Question: Good, so is there any real difference between the cocoa dusted truffles and the dipped-in-chocolate truffles?

Answer: The only difference here is the style of the chocolatier and your own personal preference. Ultimately, the confection is still the same: a chocolate ganache that may or may not be flavored beyond simply the base chocolate.

My personal preference is the cocoa-rolled truffles but this might only be because they were the first ones I started with and are the ones I'm most familiar with. Trust me when I say I'll never kick a good chocolate truffle out of bed if it is dipped in tempered chocolate rather than dusted with cocoa.

I hope this quick Cocoa 101 was tasty and illuminating!

Small Business Shenanigans: How to start a small business, Myths and reality

Hustle.

But, really, it isn't easy. 

I have no business experience whatsoever, nor do I have many mentors in the way of opening small entrepreneurial ventures. I do have a master's degree but instead of being helpful in starting a business, my MA often led me to regressing back to the nefarious imposter syndrome that I'd contracted from literally every grad student ever.

Instead, I plunged down the track and, at each hurdle I encountered, I asked for help. My inner monologue was begging for permission from individuals, companies, agencies, the universe, but I simply asked a smorgasbord of questions.

I trusted that people who were paid to do their jobs knew more than I would about that hurdle I was about to smack with my nose. I have a sickly sweet customer service voice that I can conjure on demand. I'm pretty fucking charming when I need to be, I mean, all the time.

But I also did a lot of research. 

Balancing trust and doing reconnaissance prevented me from becoming completely naïve or completely bitter.

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myths of starting an online business

There seems to be a lot of confusion and misunderstandings about opening online businesses in particular. Such myths deserve dispelling and I will do my best to provide some of my learning experiences here to help quash them.

MYTH: Online businesses don't require permits/licenses, etc.

REALITY: I had to obtain my business license from the IN Secretary of State, my sales tax license from IN Department of Revenue, my food permit license from my County Department of Health, all while not owning a brick-and-mortar. The Small Business Association website helped me outline the course of action on how to obtain these licenses and permits.

MYTH: Online businesses are "easier" than having a brick-and-mortar because you don't have the overhead costs involved in running your business.

REALITY: Overhead is certainly a barrier to entry in starting businesses. In the case of starting small businesses, especially food-related businesses, overhead can be a nonstarter. Living in a small city as I do, resources are also on the scarce side; per my County Department of Health, there are only two (2) certified kitchens that I could be permitted to use to make my chocolates.

Sure, there are some sharing relationships where a food establishment will allow small makers to use their facilities during off hours and while this can indeed be a symbiotic relationship of sorts (small maker gets to rent space and equipment much cheaper than purchasing it, establishment gets extra revenue and potential mentoring experience) it can also provide its own set of challenges. Considerations would include any time, product, and personality conflicts.

In my case, I am going the route of the certified kitchen. It certainly meets my needs and is absolutely cheaper than purchasing or leasing building space as my own independent spot. I also have the potential to forge new relationships in this capacity with the building's community and other makers who use this space. Ultimately, all of my chocolate confections are made in a certified kitchen that I have access to, but I don't have control over, and I would be hard-pressed to label this "easy."

In addition to the kitchen space, because I am an online business owner who makes and ships product, I experience a blurring of the lines between "home" and "office." All of my paperwork, shipping and packaging materials, and homo decor materials are housed in my home office (which is predominately our kitchen table and needs to be cleared off by dinner time).

I will look forward to having the level of success that would support having a brick-and-mortar base from which I can still operate my online sales. That will be the ideal arrangement and we can throw this concept of "easier" out the window.

MYTH: Online businesses are "easier" because you don't have set hours.

REALITY: KILL THIS MYTH WITH FIRE!!!

"Easier"? Again? What about business is easy???

If you can't manage time, tasks, and relationships, regardless of set business hours of operation, business is going to be that much harder if not utterly daunting. Here, grad school experience came in handy because I was used to setting goals, planning, consiste.... where was I going with this pack of lies?

Time management is my biggest personal challenge. I've had to develop this skill and, honestly, it is still very much a work in progress and not a linear one at that.

Set hours of a brick-and-mortar is nothing more than an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.

MYTH: You don't have to deal with people with an online business.

REALITY: It is a lonelier venture, but people and relationships and interactions are still key to business success, online or brick-and-mortar. For me, specifically, I am a people-person to a fault and much prefer interacting face-to-face with folx. Also, that was a huge understatement, in case you didn't realize.

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Myths abound in starting a business, especially a small, online business. If you have any passion in starting your own business, congratulations! You've won half the battle in starting one! 

The next half is still a beast. Don't let myths get in your way! And, if you need a sounding board just to bounce around ideas, drop me an email and let's chat.